Saturday, October 31, 2009
Haloween
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Jokes
When kids make up jokes, as a rule, they are not funny. I have heard close to a million made up jokes and they never make me laugh. Sometimes I have to force myself to smile. Other times I have to tell them to stop making up jokes because it is just too painful.
Every once in a while, Toby says something that is so strange, unexpected or funny that we can't help but to laugh out loud.
Today, Toby came home with his school pictures.
Picture day was not a small event for Toby. It was his first one and he wanted to look his best. I ironed the shirt he picked out the night before and hung it up in the laundry room. But when he came downstairs in the morning, he had carefully picked out a brown shirt with a stain on it. He insisted that he had to wear that shirt because he was not allowed to wear green. I tried to tell him that the ironed shirt that he had picked out for picture day didn't have any green on it (or stains for that matter), but he is quite headstrong. I thought it would be best to send Toby to school in a good mood on picture day, and the stained brown shirt was worn with pride.
So, when Toby came home with something special in his Note Tote, I was curious. The school photographers, Bernard Photo Image, gave us a series of twelve proofs of Toby sitting with various backgrounds. With a big smile on his face, Toby, handed the envelope with his pictures to Ian and said "Look Daddy, a whole class of Toby's".
For once, he made a joke that really made us laugh.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A Friday Down Memory Lane
On Friday night, Ian and I were invited to go out for drinks with two of our firends that we knew from university. One friend was in town from Calgary with her boyfriend. They were here for a wedding. The other friend works downtown and lives on the other side of the city with his wife and two kids. We found babysitters and headed for a pub downtown.
I hadn't seen these old friends since I was pregnant with Ethan 7 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Both of our friends are working and quite career driven. I was the only stay-at home-mom in the group. I began to wonder what would I contribute to the conversation? What do I have in common with any of them? I rarely get to speak to adults without being interrupted by the kids. Can I even finish a sentence anymore? Am I intelligent enough to be able to follow, interpret and comment on a conversation about politics, business or world issues or did the children completely suck all the brains out of my body?
Will my old friends judge me for making the choice to be at home rather than work?
I tried very hard to put these thoughts out of my mind. I knew that if I mentioned them to Ian he would just say that I was being silly, over-sensitive or overly self-consious. I don't think that I was. I think that those who stay at home can't help feeling a little bit less secure. There are a number of reasons for that.
1. Most of us stay-at-home parents only lead one life. Ian gets two lives; work, and home. I find that I have to search to see beauty and I have to work to be creative so that I don't fall into the mundane, mindless routine of every day life with little ones. Not an easy task.
2. Most of the time, we are not the primary provider for the family. It's a small source of pride for many husbands to bring home the "bread and butter".
3. Ian is a manager at work, he likes to try to do the same at home. The other day, my in-laws, Ian and I took a survey out of Oprah Magazine to see "Who we are meant to be". The survey was meant to direct us to our true selves without thoughts of our career (or former career), children or other things that might muddle up our direction. As it turns out, both Ian and I are more inclined to direct and lead other people. When Ian tries to apply that to me at home it can be a conflict, but often I have found that I submit to it because I don't feel like asserting myself all the time. It is tiring and I am fairly worn down by the kids. So, when Ian is home, I often fall into the position of "second in command".
I am no longer the overly confident, easily excited, driven, young university graduate that my friends used to know.
Needless to say, I was a bit nervous when I first sat down at the bar and began our conversation.
Of course, Ian would have been right. These friends were not judgemental. They asked us to go out with them because they wanted to see us. They put me at ease right away. The conversation mostly centered on old stories of various people we knew. When the conversation switched to work related issues or politics, I didn't feel excluded. I just listened intently. When I was asked if I thought I would go back to teaching. I answered them honestly... I will when the time is right.
What I took from all of this was...
I am not the same person I was 8 years ago when parenthood officially began for us. However, I am happy with who I have become. I believe that I am more open-minded, more friendly, more willing to try new things, more grounded, and in a way, more confident. There will always be someone out there who tries to belittle what I do or who thinks they understand this parenting business better than I do
.
I have to say, at the end of any given day, I can tell you that I tried my best to be a good mom. I was honest, responsible, hard-working and loved my kids to the best of my ability. My kids know that's what I do.
I am a Stay-at home-Mom, that is my title.
P.S. I know I need to get out of the house more!
I hadn't seen these old friends since I was pregnant with Ethan 7 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Both of our friends are working and quite career driven. I was the only stay-at home-mom in the group. I began to wonder what would I contribute to the conversation? What do I have in common with any of them? I rarely get to speak to adults without being interrupted by the kids. Can I even finish a sentence anymore? Am I intelligent enough to be able to follow, interpret and comment on a conversation about politics, business or world issues or did the children completely suck all the brains out of my body?
Will my old friends judge me for making the choice to be at home rather than work?
I tried very hard to put these thoughts out of my mind. I knew that if I mentioned them to Ian he would just say that I was being silly, over-sensitive or overly self-consious. I don't think that I was. I think that those who stay at home can't help feeling a little bit less secure. There are a number of reasons for that.
1. Most of us stay-at-home parents only lead one life. Ian gets two lives; work, and home. I find that I have to search to see beauty and I have to work to be creative so that I don't fall into the mundane, mindless routine of every day life with little ones. Not an easy task.
2. Most of the time, we are not the primary provider for the family. It's a small source of pride for many husbands to bring home the "bread and butter".
3. Ian is a manager at work, he likes to try to do the same at home. The other day, my in-laws, Ian and I took a survey out of Oprah Magazine to see "Who we are meant to be". The survey was meant to direct us to our true selves without thoughts of our career (or former career), children or other things that might muddle up our direction. As it turns out, both Ian and I are more inclined to direct and lead other people. When Ian tries to apply that to me at home it can be a conflict, but often I have found that I submit to it because I don't feel like asserting myself all the time. It is tiring and I am fairly worn down by the kids. So, when Ian is home, I often fall into the position of "second in command".
I am no longer the overly confident, easily excited, driven, young university graduate that my friends used to know.
Needless to say, I was a bit nervous when I first sat down at the bar and began our conversation.
Of course, Ian would have been right. These friends were not judgemental. They asked us to go out with them because they wanted to see us. They put me at ease right away. The conversation mostly centered on old stories of various people we knew. When the conversation switched to work related issues or politics, I didn't feel excluded. I just listened intently. When I was asked if I thought I would go back to teaching. I answered them honestly... I will when the time is right.
What I took from all of this was...
I am not the same person I was 8 years ago when parenthood officially began for us. However, I am happy with who I have become. I believe that I am more open-minded, more friendly, more willing to try new things, more grounded, and in a way, more confident. There will always be someone out there who tries to belittle what I do or who thinks they understand this parenting business better than I do
.
I have to say, at the end of any given day, I can tell you that I tried my best to be a good mom. I was honest, responsible, hard-working and loved my kids to the best of my ability. My kids know that's what I do.
I am a Stay-at home-Mom, that is my title.
P.S. I know I need to get out of the house more!
Monday, October 12, 2009
My Birthday
Today is my birthday.
I'm 35.
Apart from the 6 hour drive in a van that seemed a bit reluctant to want to be driven (it has 187000km's, pulls to the left, has bald wheels and the engine seems to be on the verge of stalling even on the highway) and three restless boys hollering for a DVD, food, volume up, window open, advice to ease car sickness, water, volume down, and window down, etc. it was a peaceful day.
I like being 35. I am more confident that I was in my 20's and even though I am going grey, I don't feel very much older than I was a few years ago. I don't need a lot of presents or phone calls, but it is nice to get the happy birthday greetings from friends and family. The only person I have expectations to make my day special, is my husband. This year, Ian did fairly well.
He managed to get my present before my birthday. That is very important to me and he hasn't always been good about having a present for me on my birthday. So, he remembered!
He also bought me what I wanted (a raincoat and running socks). Oh my god, he listened!
The last request that I have for my birthday is to be treated as somewhat of a princess. Well, as much as I can be. If there is something that daddy can assist with, rather than mommy, than today, I don't jump out of my seat to help. In my head I hope that daddy will come to the child's rescue and hence be both our son's and my hero. It's amazing what Daddy can do just as well as mommy, when given an opportunity.
So, it is 10:00pm and it is still my birthday. My husband is fully exhausted and has gone to bed, the boys are upstairs sawing logs like their father and I am here....
I have two more hours to celebrate. I think I will go crawl into bed.
And for the next two hours, if one of the kids wake up, maybe daddy will sooth them back to sleep. I should rest, because tomorrow will be back to normal.
I'm 35.
Apart from the 6 hour drive in a van that seemed a bit reluctant to want to be driven (it has 187000km's, pulls to the left, has bald wheels and the engine seems to be on the verge of stalling even on the highway) and three restless boys hollering for a DVD, food, volume up, window open, advice to ease car sickness, water, volume down, and window down, etc. it was a peaceful day.
I like being 35. I am more confident that I was in my 20's and even though I am going grey, I don't feel very much older than I was a few years ago. I don't need a lot of presents or phone calls, but it is nice to get the happy birthday greetings from friends and family. The only person I have expectations to make my day special, is my husband. This year, Ian did fairly well.
He managed to get my present before my birthday. That is very important to me and he hasn't always been good about having a present for me on my birthday. So, he remembered!
He also bought me what I wanted (a raincoat and running socks). Oh my god, he listened!
The last request that I have for my birthday is to be treated as somewhat of a princess. Well, as much as I can be. If there is something that daddy can assist with, rather than mommy, than today, I don't jump out of my seat to help. In my head I hope that daddy will come to the child's rescue and hence be both our son's and my hero. It's amazing what Daddy can do just as well as mommy, when given an opportunity.
So, it is 10:00pm and it is still my birthday. My husband is fully exhausted and has gone to bed, the boys are upstairs sawing logs like their father and I am here....
I have two more hours to celebrate. I think I will go crawl into bed.
And for the next two hours, if one of the kids wake up, maybe daddy will sooth them back to sleep. I should rest, because tomorrow will be back to normal.
Cutting the Crapp
Blogs are often a display of accomplishments, achievements, a means of recording thoughts, processes and a bit of a window into a persons personal life (sometimes they are work related, but I'm not talking about those). In the past, I have used my blog as a means of recording events with a small attempt at adding a personal thought, feeling or recollection. To do more than that feels dangerous. I don't like making myself feel vulnerable, especially when the content involves my family mixed with the Internet. The thing is, what I have been writing, is only the good parts. I have avoided writing about the tantrums, whining, sad and horrible moments that I find myself dealing with on a daily basis.
Well, I have decided that if I am going to continue to blog, I might as well make it memorable and TRUTHFUL! I have made a commitment to try to blog on a more regular basis and thus include the not so fun experiences which comes with being a stay-at-home mom. It is not all sunshine, hugs and glory. There are many days when I feel completely under appreciated, misunderstood, and at times, invisible. Today, I am going to at least be heard... on my blog.
This is the beginning of the real story...
And thanks Scott B. for reminding me that the truth is often more interesting than a facade.
Well, I have decided that if I am going to continue to blog, I might as well make it memorable and TRUTHFUL! I have made a commitment to try to blog on a more regular basis and thus include the not so fun experiences which comes with being a stay-at-home mom. It is not all sunshine, hugs and glory. There are many days when I feel completely under appreciated, misunderstood, and at times, invisible. Today, I am going to at least be heard... on my blog.
This is the beginning of the real story...
And thanks Scott B. for reminding me that the truth is often more interesting than a facade.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
