Happy New Year!

We have so much to look forward to in 2010. Here are some pictures from over the Christmas holidays.

Success!

We did it! We had our first successful family trip. Imagine, we managed to go away for a week together and everyone, for the most part, was happy. The sun was warm. The people were friendly and kind. We met some new friends. The kids were happy and easily entertained. There was nothing to complain about. We already have started to talk about taking another trip again.

We had such a great trip at the Melia Caribe Tropical resort in Dominican Republic, one would assume that we would want to return to the same all inclusive resort. In a way I would like to return. However, there is a part of me that is wondering, what else is out there? Is there something else that we might be missing out on? This trip has made us a little more confident about travelling with our three young, active, picky eating boys. Soon, we will get out the atlas, explore out options, check our finances and head to the airport. But for now, we are happy to be home and sleepig in our own rooms in our own beds!

We're off!

Today we are leaving for the Dominican. We (I) have been preparing for this trip for about a month. Because it is right before Christmas I was pretty busy. Over the past few weeks, I managed to get almost all of my Christmas shopping done, wrapped, sent to various places, wrote and sent half of our Christmas cards, fit in two sets of immunizations, attended a few Christmas parties, celebrated Simon's birthday twice, and packed suitcases and carry-ons. Whew!
We are all excited. We talked to the boys last night about what to expect and to try their best to make the most of our time away. Positive attitudes will go a long way! With any luck, the boys will learn to love being far from home on the sunny bach as much as Ian and I will.
Unfortunately not all of us were able to go. Holly, my mother-in-law had to cancel at the last minute. It would have been nice to have an extra set of hands. However with Gordon being sick, it is best that she stay with him.
This week was busy and now I am looking forward to my holiday!

Guilty

This week, I have been arguing with Ian. We don't do it often, so when it happens I feel like it is the end of my little world. I know that in part I am wrong, but I wish he would just be a little more understanding of my point of view. It would be easier to accept that I am wrong if he gave some empathy rather than being a wall.

So, the issue that we are fighting over is that Ian's work Christmas party is on Simon's third birthday. When he first mentioned the Christmas party weeks ago, I asked him to make it any night other than Simon's birthday. He said he would try. As it turns out, the party is on Simon's birthday and Ian does not want me to be late. He said "If you are going to plan to be late, then don't come at all. I don't want you there". Harsh! I just wanted to put the kid to bed on his birthday. He hates babysitters! Besides, birthdays are special to me. It is a day that I think about what was going on in my life when that little person came into the world. I think about how thankful I am and how much they have changed me.


So there are a few issues here. There is a societal pressure that I am supposed to go, look good, smile and support my husband. He works all year at his job and this is an opportunity to see him shine. That is what I signed up for when I married Ian. My mother-in-law feels that it what I should do, as does a number of good friends whole opinions I respect.

On the other hand, we are not doing a big birthday party for Simon. I have asked my parents to visit some time that week to celebrate, but they can't. I asked if we could visit them the weekend before, but they will have their hands full with my sister and their kids. So, Simon will get a few presents, we will bring cupcakes to his friends at preschool, I will stay with him at school as the parent helper and I will take him out for lunch.

I can't help feeling guilty that he will not be seeing his dad on his birthday AND I won't be eating cake with him and his brothers at dinner.

Ideally, Ian's Christmas party would be another day and we would have a nice family dinner together, but I am going to have to suck it up and accept that my husband needs me more.

Do I sound bitter? I'm not really. I just need to mull this over in my head a bit.

I think it would be easier to accept that I was missing Simon's birthday if I was invited to a U2 concert, or Ian was taking me out on a date alone. Last year at Ian's Christmas party, I was accosted by one of his sales guys who proceeded to lecture me on how there is no such thing as Global Warming. I tried to be polite and disagree, but he seemed to get more fired up. At the time, Ian was busy socializing that he didn't realize I was feeling very uncomfortable until the guys girlfriend suggested that Ian "save me".  Not my idea of a good time.

I would much prefer to be home with my boys, reflecting on how much has changed over the last three years. What a wonderful surprise Simon was. Once the boys were in bed, I would rather spend time alone with Ian over a glass of wine talking about the day and what our future holds.

A mother's guilt is never healthy. We do it to ourselves. Whether it is a missed birthday party, we are late to pick them up from school or we have repremanded our child too harshly. So, to be good to myself, I need to let it go. Take a deep breath and know that in the grand scheme of things, when he is 26, Simon won't remember that we weren't there for the evening of this third birthday. The only one who cares is me. I am not doing something morally wrong. I am accompaning my husband to a work event. I should not feel guilty.

Between Naps

There are a number of schools of thought when it comes to kids naps. I have to say, I am not an expert. At times my kids have been so overtired that they can't function without breaking into tears over what would normally be nothing to them. They have slept in inapproprite places because I have had to go somewhere and needed to take them with me. I have been in and out of nap routines many many times. For the most part, I have tried to maintain a good nap schedule using the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as my guide. But when my child's nap schedule does not fit into the greater good of the family, we have skipped it.

So, after 7 years, we are coming to the end of routine nap times with our kids. Simon is almost three now and he doesn't need one every day. The days that Simon takes his nap, it is a battle to get him to sleep, and then he is up late at night.  On the days that he doesn't have one, he is grouchy by dinner time. It is a tricky adjustment that involves quite a bit of patience on my part. We just have to get through this phase.

Some days, I know I am going to miss that time when I get to snuggle in bed with Simon. But I have to say, in many ways, I am looking forward to being able to get out and do things in the afternoons with the boys!

Pumpkins

Haloween

Carving pumpkins is a dirty job. The boys were very happy to lose their shirts to get their hands dirty.

Ethan got a Toys-R-Us gift card for his birthday. With his money he chose to buy this costume for Haloween. He couldn't wait to wear it! Toby was a Dinosaur for his school Haloween party and a vampire for "real Haloween". Simon was a Fireman at Preschool and a Purple Dragon for Haloween. The boys could hardly sit still during dinner. Toby tried to tell me that he was finished his meal and he didn't need desert tonight. He had barely eaten. He just wanted to go Trick or Treating.