Success!

We did it! We had our first successful family trip. Imagine, we managed to go away for a week together and everyone, for the most part, was happy. The sun was warm. The people were friendly and kind. We met some new friends. The kids were happy and easily entertained. There was nothing to complain about. We already have started to talk about taking another trip again.

We had such a great trip at the Melia Caribe Tropical resort in Dominican Republic, one would assume that we would want to return to the same all inclusive resort. In a way I would like to return. However, there is a part of me that is wondering, what else is out there? Is there something else that we might be missing out on? This trip has made us a little more confident about travelling with our three young, active, picky eating boys. Soon, we will get out the atlas, explore out options, check our finances and head to the airport. But for now, we are happy to be home and sleepig in our own rooms in our own beds!

We're off!

Today we are leaving for the Dominican. We (I) have been preparing for this trip for about a month. Because it is right before Christmas I was pretty busy. Over the past few weeks, I managed to get almost all of my Christmas shopping done, wrapped, sent to various places, wrote and sent half of our Christmas cards, fit in two sets of immunizations, attended a few Christmas parties, celebrated Simon's birthday twice, and packed suitcases and carry-ons. Whew!
We are all excited. We talked to the boys last night about what to expect and to try their best to make the most of our time away. Positive attitudes will go a long way! With any luck, the boys will learn to love being far from home on the sunny bach as much as Ian and I will.
Unfortunately not all of us were able to go. Holly, my mother-in-law had to cancel at the last minute. It would have been nice to have an extra set of hands. However with Gordon being sick, it is best that she stay with him.
This week was busy and now I am looking forward to my holiday!

Guilty

This week, I have been arguing with Ian. We don't do it often, so when it happens I feel like it is the end of my little world. I know that in part I am wrong, but I wish he would just be a little more understanding of my point of view. It would be easier to accept that I am wrong if he gave some empathy rather than being a wall.

So, the issue that we are fighting over is that Ian's work Christmas party is on Simon's third birthday. When he first mentioned the Christmas party weeks ago, I asked him to make it any night other than Simon's birthday. He said he would try. As it turns out, the party is on Simon's birthday and Ian does not want me to be late. He said "If you are going to plan to be late, then don't come at all. I don't want you there". Harsh! I just wanted to put the kid to bed on his birthday. He hates babysitters! Besides, birthdays are special to me. It is a day that I think about what was going on in my life when that little person came into the world. I think about how thankful I am and how much they have changed me.


So there are a few issues here. There is a societal pressure that I am supposed to go, look good, smile and support my husband. He works all year at his job and this is an opportunity to see him shine. That is what I signed up for when I married Ian. My mother-in-law feels that it what I should do, as does a number of good friends whole opinions I respect.

On the other hand, we are not doing a big birthday party for Simon. I have asked my parents to visit some time that week to celebrate, but they can't. I asked if we could visit them the weekend before, but they will have their hands full with my sister and their kids. So, Simon will get a few presents, we will bring cupcakes to his friends at preschool, I will stay with him at school as the parent helper and I will take him out for lunch.

I can't help feeling guilty that he will not be seeing his dad on his birthday AND I won't be eating cake with him and his brothers at dinner.

Ideally, Ian's Christmas party would be another day and we would have a nice family dinner together, but I am going to have to suck it up and accept that my husband needs me more.

Do I sound bitter? I'm not really. I just need to mull this over in my head a bit.

I think it would be easier to accept that I was missing Simon's birthday if I was invited to a U2 concert, or Ian was taking me out on a date alone. Last year at Ian's Christmas party, I was accosted by one of his sales guys who proceeded to lecture me on how there is no such thing as Global Warming. I tried to be polite and disagree, but he seemed to get more fired up. At the time, Ian was busy socializing that he didn't realize I was feeling very uncomfortable until the guys girlfriend suggested that Ian "save me".  Not my idea of a good time.

I would much prefer to be home with my boys, reflecting on how much has changed over the last three years. What a wonderful surprise Simon was. Once the boys were in bed, I would rather spend time alone with Ian over a glass of wine talking about the day and what our future holds.

A mother's guilt is never healthy. We do it to ourselves. Whether it is a missed birthday party, we are late to pick them up from school or we have repremanded our child too harshly. So, to be good to myself, I need to let it go. Take a deep breath and know that in the grand scheme of things, when he is 26, Simon won't remember that we weren't there for the evening of this third birthday. The only one who cares is me. I am not doing something morally wrong. I am accompaning my husband to a work event. I should not feel guilty.

Between Naps

There are a number of schools of thought when it comes to kids naps. I have to say, I am not an expert. At times my kids have been so overtired that they can't function without breaking into tears over what would normally be nothing to them. They have slept in inapproprite places because I have had to go somewhere and needed to take them with me. I have been in and out of nap routines many many times. For the most part, I have tried to maintain a good nap schedule using the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as my guide. But when my child's nap schedule does not fit into the greater good of the family, we have skipped it.

So, after 7 years, we are coming to the end of routine nap times with our kids. Simon is almost three now and he doesn't need one every day. The days that Simon takes his nap, it is a battle to get him to sleep, and then he is up late at night.  On the days that he doesn't have one, he is grouchy by dinner time. It is a tricky adjustment that involves quite a bit of patience on my part. We just have to get through this phase.

Some days, I know I am going to miss that time when I get to snuggle in bed with Simon. But I have to say, in many ways, I am looking forward to being able to get out and do things in the afternoons with the boys!

Pumpkins

Haloween

Carving pumpkins is a dirty job. The boys were very happy to lose their shirts to get their hands dirty.

Ethan got a Toys-R-Us gift card for his birthday. With his money he chose to buy this costume for Haloween. He couldn't wait to wear it! Toby was a Dinosaur for his school Haloween party and a vampire for "real Haloween". Simon was a Fireman at Preschool and a Purple Dragon for Haloween. The boys could hardly sit still during dinner. Toby tried to tell me that he was finished his meal and he didn't need desert tonight. He had barely eaten. He just wanted to go Trick or Treating.

Jokes

When kids make up jokes, as a rule, they are not funny. I have heard close to a million made up jokes and they never make me laugh. Sometimes I have to force myself to smile. Other times I have to tell them to stop making up jokes because it is just too painful.

Every once in a while, Toby says something that is so strange, unexpected or funny that we can't help but to laugh out loud.

Today, Toby came home with his school pictures.

Picture day was not a small event for Toby. It was his first one and he wanted to look his best. I ironed the shirt he picked out the night before and hung it up in the laundry room. But when he came downstairs in the morning, he had carefully picked out a brown shirt with a stain on it. He insisted that he had to wear that shirt because he was not allowed to wear green. I tried to tell him that the ironed shirt that he had picked out for picture day didn't have any green on it (or stains for that matter), but he is quite headstrong. I thought it would be best to send Toby to school in a good mood on picture day, and the stained brown shirt was worn with pride.

So, when Toby came home with something special in his Note Tote, I was curious. The school photographers, Bernard Photo Image, gave us a series of twelve proofs of Toby sitting with various backgrounds. With a big smile on his face, Toby, handed the envelope with his pictures to Ian and said "Look Daddy, a whole class of Toby's".

For once, he made a joke that really made us laugh.

A Friday Down Memory Lane

On Friday night, Ian and I were invited to go out for drinks with two of our firends that we knew from university. One friend was in town from Calgary with her boyfriend. They were here for a wedding. The other friend works downtown and lives on the other side of the city with his wife and two kids. We found babysitters and headed for a pub downtown.

I hadn't seen these old friends since I was pregnant with Ethan 7 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Both of our friends are working and quite career driven. I was the only stay-at home-mom in the group. I began to wonder what would I contribute to the conversation? What do I have in common with any of them? I rarely get to speak to adults without being interrupted by the kids. Can I even finish a sentence anymore? Am I intelligent enough to be able to follow, interpret and comment on a conversation about politics, business or world issues or did the children completely suck all the brains out of my body?

Will my old friends judge me for making the choice to be at home rather than work?

I tried very hard to put these thoughts out of my mind. I knew that if I mentioned them to Ian he would just say that I was being silly, over-sensitive or overly self-consious. I don't think that I was. I think that those who stay at home can't help feeling a little bit less secure. There are a number of reasons for that.

1. Most of us stay-at-home parents only lead one life. Ian gets two lives; work, and home. I find that I have to search to see beauty and I have to work to be creative so that I don't fall into the mundane, mindless routine of every day life with little ones. Not an easy task.

2. Most of the time, we are not the primary provider for the family. It's a small source of pride for many husbands to bring home the "bread and butter".

3. Ian is a manager at work, he likes to try to do the same at home. The other day, my in-laws, Ian and I took a survey out of Oprah Magazine to see "Who we are meant to be". The survey was meant to direct us to our true selves without thoughts of our career (or former career), children or other things that might muddle up our direction. As it turns out, both Ian and I are more inclined to direct and lead other people. When Ian tries to apply that to me at home it can be a conflict, but often I have found that I submit to it because I don't feel like asserting myself all the time. It is tiring and I am fairly worn down by the kids. So, when Ian is home, I often fall into the position of "second in command".

I am no longer the overly confident, easily excited, driven, young university graduate that my friends used to know.

Needless to say, I was a bit nervous when I first sat down at the bar and began our conversation.

Of course, Ian would have been right. These friends were not judgemental. They asked us to go out with them because they wanted to see us. They put me at ease right away. The conversation mostly centered on old stories of various people we knew. When the conversation switched to work related issues or politics, I didn't feel excluded. I just listened intently. When I was asked if I thought I would go back to teaching. I answered them honestly... I will when the time is right.

What I took from all of this was...
I am not the same person I was 8 years ago when parenthood officially began for us. However, I am happy with who I have become. I believe that I am more open-minded, more friendly, more willing to try new things, more grounded, and in a way, more confident. There will always be someone out there who tries to belittle what I do or who thinks they understand this parenting business better than I do
.
I have to say, at the end of any given day, I can tell you that I tried my best to be a good mom. I was honest, responsible, hard-working and loved my kids to the best of my ability. My kids know that's what I do.

I am a Stay-at home-Mom, that is my title.

P.S. I know I need to get out of the house more!

My Birthday

Today is my birthday.

I'm 35.

Apart from the 6 hour drive in a van that seemed a bit reluctant to want to be driven (it has 187000km's, pulls to the left, has bald wheels and the engine seems to be on the verge of stalling even on the highway) and three restless boys hollering for a DVD, food, volume up, window open, advice to ease car sickness, water, volume down, and window down, etc. it was a peaceful day.

I like being 35. I am more confident that I was in my 20's and even though I am going grey, I don't feel very much older than I was a few years ago. I don't need a lot of presents or phone calls, but it is nice to get the happy birthday greetings from friends and family. The only person I have expectations to make my day special, is my husband. This year, Ian did fairly well.

He managed to get my present before my birthday. That is very important to me and he hasn't always been good about having a present for me on my birthday. So, he remembered!

He also bought me what I wanted (a raincoat and running socks). Oh my god, he listened!

The last request that I have for my birthday is to be treated as somewhat of a princess. Well, as much as I can be. If there is something that daddy can assist with, rather than mommy, than today, I don't jump out of my seat to help. In my head I hope that daddy will come to the child's rescue and hence be both our son's and my hero. It's amazing what Daddy can do just as well as mommy, when given an opportunity.

So, it is 10:00pm and it is still my birthday. My husband is fully exhausted and has gone to bed, the boys are upstairs sawing logs like their father and I am here....

I have two more hours to celebrate. I think I will go crawl into bed.

And for the next two hours, if one of the kids wake up, maybe daddy will sooth them back to sleep. I should rest, because tomorrow will be back to normal.

Cutting the Crapp

Blogs are often a display of accomplishments, achievements, a means of recording thoughts, processes and a bit of a window into a persons personal life (sometimes they are work related, but I'm not talking about those). In the past, I have used my blog as a means of recording events with a small attempt at adding a personal thought, feeling or recollection. To do more than that feels dangerous. I don't like making myself feel vulnerable, especially when the content involves my family mixed with the Internet. The thing is, what I have been writing, is only the good parts. I have avoided writing about the tantrums, whining, sad and horrible moments that I find myself dealing with on a daily basis.

Well, I have decided that if I am going to continue to blog, I might as well make it memorable and TRUTHFUL! I have made a commitment to try to blog on a more regular basis and thus include the not so fun experiences which comes with being a stay-at-home mom. It is not all sunshine, hugs and glory. There are many days when I feel completely under appreciated, misunderstood, and at times, invisible. Today, I am going to at least be heard... on my blog.

This is the beginning of the real story...

And thanks Scott B. for reminding me that the truth is often more interesting than a facade.

Back to School!

I took some pictures of the boys on Ethan's first day of school. He is off to grade 2 this year. Grade 2 seems so old. He wasn't really worried or nervous until the morning he was about to begin. He had what I would consider to be normal anxiety levels, which is much better than he had when he started school in October of last year.


On the first day, they ask that the parents drop the kids off at the fence, so we don't even enter onto school grounds. Ethan lined up with his teacher from last year and went into his old classroom with all of his old classmates. He got to spend a little time with his good friend Adam before he was placed into their separate classrooms. Ethan's teacher is Mrs Weiggleman and from what I have heard, she is very good. Last year, I wasn't thrilled with his teacher. She didn't make a great effort to communicate with parents and I really felt that she didn't have a connection to her students. I am looking forward to a new start for Ethan.

Toby also starts Jr kindergarten this year. We had our first meeting with Mrs Davis this week. Toby was very excited to meet his teacher and held out his hand for a formal handshake to introduce himself as soon as he saw her. I was a bit surprised he didn't just hug her and climb onto her lap. I'm sure he will try to do that after a few days. Mrs Davis showed Toby his cubby and we put his new shoes into it and then he and Simon were off and playing with the toys. Mrs Davis said that normally she would show the students around the room, but since Toby was so comfortable, she didn't need to. During our 30 min chat, Simon and Toby managed get into 3 or 4 arguments. I think Mrs Davis got a true display of the "Fudge" behaviour. However, I think it will be a smooth transition for Toby. I don't have any worries or concerns about it!

Simon will be starting preschool with Merrily We Go next week on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I think more than anything, he will miss his big brothers, but I am looking forward to spending some time alone with Simon.

We are onto a new school year, a fresh start and a new chapter of our lives. It is getting easier. Ian and I are very lucky to have such busy, outgoing and happy little boys.

Floating bonfire Night

Old friends are the Best

Jamie Stube at the Dinner Dance
Alec, Andrea and Andrew

Hennessy and Wybar bonfire at the beach.

Playgroup at the Blott's

Lee, Katherine, Jess and Andrea

There was so much to do in so little time. It was difficult to spend time with everyone when the kids were flying all over the place, but we all made an effort. I think we all appreciate the time we had there together.

Tennis and Golf Lessons

Granny always says that you can not start a child in tennis lessons until they are taller than the net. Luckily, Toby and Ethan are tall enough, but poor Simon will have to wait another year.

Overall, the tennis clinics with Stuart were fantastic. The were fun, active, repetitive (helps build confidence and basic skills) and entertaining. Golf with Chris was pretty good, but the boys need to mature a bit before they are ready for a game involving such calm, quiet, patience and self-control. It might take a few years...

Granny

Granny is 86 years old. Taking this into consideration, it is quite a gift that she is still willing to allow us to visit her home in Metis. Every year we visit Granny in Metis. We take over the entire house and leave her with no peace for a week!
Metis is a magical place where the same families gather every summer year after year.

The central hub of it all is the Cascade Golf and Tennis Club www.cascadegolfandtennis.com. That is where I have met many of my oldest friends. This year Ethan and Toby started going to the tennis and golf clinics just like I used to. At one point there were 22 children on the court!

Granny no longer plays tennis. However, we managed to spend time with her at the annual Garden Party, covered bridge, Birks beach, Turrifs beach, and Ian took her to the farm, Ste Flavie for fish and to visit the tomato lady.

Most days, Granny slept until 7:30, but she didn't seem to be bothered by the noise of the boys playing downstairs at 6:45am. She said they had "such happy voices in the mornings".

She ate her breakfast on the deck every morning where she watched rising and falling tides of the Ste Lawrence and listened to the birds.

In the evenings, she moved to the middle part of the deck for libations where she watched the red sunsets and tried to predict the weather for the following day.

She was always playful with the boys and had a twinkle in her eye. I think she genuinely enjoyed the hustle and bustle of it all.

It has been a wet one.

It has been wet, but I had no idea that we were breaking any records.

Check out this article: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/official+July+Ottawa+wettest+month+history/1841495/story.html.

Thank goodness we were exposed to so much rain on the West coast. The funny thing is, they have had record breaking heat and humidity in Vancouver and Seattle this month!

Baloo

We have waited a long time and although Baloo's behaviour isn't perfect, he is pertty close. He is sweet and lovable. The boys are learning how to behave so that he doesn't get over excited. The boys are larning to give him space and they are learning a little about forgiveness, because puppy teeth hurt, but Baloo doesn't mean to hurt them. I have found that the relationship between the boys and the dog has been better than expected. I have found Ethan more than once snuggling in a special place, just him and Baloo singing a song to his pal. Of all the kids, I think Ethan has benefitted most from having a little bit more responsibility and feeling, as he says, "more grown up". He needed that!
With some training, Baloo will be a wonderful family pet that we hope to have to many many years!

Male #3

This weekend we are heading to Little Britain to pick up our newest member of the family. We got the following note from our breeder:

Thanks for being so patient with me and waiting until I completed the final temperament test.I have watched the pups very closely over the last 4 weeks trying to figure out their temperaments and then a few days ago I did the final temperament test. When deciding which pup is best I look at how they interact with myself, other objects, animals, sounds and their mother and litter mates and also I look at the final temperament test score.I've put all this info together trying to determine which one is best for you and yes,

I've concluded that male #3 will be amazing for you guys. He is the calmest and most gentle of the litter and I think this is very important since you guys have young kids (compared to all the other families who are getting dogs from this litter) I usually but the calmer, more laid back pup with families with small kids. I find it works out better).

He also has a wavy coat which should be OK for allergies!

He is a fun, playful, loving dog that isn't to crazy or hyper but he still loves to play and is not shy or timid! He is a very social pup and a very affectionate pup. I can flip him on his back and he just lays there. He is very people oriented vs independent and would rather be with people then off doing his own thing. He adjusts very well to new situations and he is a dog you can take anywhere and he will not be shy or sketch (obviously you have to socialize him when younger) but his personality would not cause him to be like this.

Obviously as you know a lot has to do with training as well and if you read some of the book I sent you and follow all these techniques in the book a long with all the things I send you in the puppy packet you will have an amazing dog!

Let me know what you think about this pup!I will see you on the 25th at 1 pm sharp!

Sherrywww.swissridgegoldendoodles.com

We have been on the waiting list since March for this little guy and we are really excited to bring him home! If you want to take a look at Male #3, check out the Swiss Ridge website and follow the Puppies link to English Goldendoodles (not mini's).

Captain Underpants Simon!

I can't believe it, we are on our way to being diaper free!

Simon is in the process of potty training. We are at the stage when he wears underwear, but I have to carry a potty everywhere we go. So, I wouldn't say that he is fully potty trained because I still hover over him. However, he is taking the initiative and pees on the potty when I least expect it (sometimes 10 min after the last pee). He is also quite happy to sit there, read a book and do his other business.

Our garbage will be reduced and less smelly and soon we won't have to pay for diapers for nights either!

The goal was to have him fully trained before we get our puppy in two weeks. With the success Simon has had so far, we might just do it!

We are all happy to cheer Simon on. He is really growing up!

Jessica and Allen's Wedding

Pre wedding pictures.

The sista's!

Dad making Mom giggle.

Jess, Gregory and Emma.

Jess and Allen with BJ and Granny.

Dancing!

Georgia dancing with Patrick with his fast feet.

Ian fishing.

Air guitar with Lucy, Allen's mom.

Overall, it was a great night!

Canada Day In Ottawa

Every year we celebrate

Canada Day by dressing in our patriotic colours and visiting some of the local events. In Surrey we used to walk to the celebration. There was always great music on the big stage and a festive atmosphere, and we always ran into friends. . Last year we went with our friends Susan, Dan and their kids.

This year we were pretty psyched to go to Parliament Hill to watch the musical ride done by the RCMP on horses, buskers, and various groups in concert. Our big mistake was that we brought the double stroller. There were so many people that it was very difficult to

maneuver through the crowds. It was also pretty tricky to hear or see the concerts. The buskers were a big success, but I think that with kids, we prefer to stick to the smaller local venues.

We still had a great time and look forward to when the kids are older and we

can take them back to the big concerts to enjoy together.

Fishing is Gross... But Look at those Faces.

I will be the first to admit, I don't love fishing. The idea of placing a hook through wriggling worm, throwing it to the fish and then reeling in something that is hooked and living is enough to turn me off of eating fish forever.
However, I am one of those parents who seem to have this desire to make my kids happy at whatever cost. I truly enjoy seeing the boys faces when they have hooked a big one. As in-humane and gross as it may be in my own mind, I can look past it because the boys simply love it. They don't fight or argue when they fish, in fact they are quiet most of the time. They are not running around like maniacs either. Their energy is focused on where the next big one might be. I can imagine that because this is something that they all enjoy, it is not really competitive and they are happy doing it, fishing might actually bring the boys closer together! So, I will sacrifice a few worms and allow a few fish to get hooked (and released) just "for the kids", because when they are happy, I am happy. But Ian is in charge the bait.

Exploring the paths with Toby and Simon

After two days of being stuck in the house Toby seemed to be getting over his flu. It was time to go for a nice walk. Toby still had a fever and was not feeling great, but he was a little trooper on our walk and when he needed a break, he got in the stroller and sat for a while.

Here, the boys are enjoying the morning sun sitting by the creek. It's a favorite spot to throw sticks and watch them float in the current.

Toby - Up on the bridge watching the bubbles in the water.

Of course on walks that are likely to last a few hours, we have to bring cars!

Toby and Simon dug these out of one of the boxes of toys that didn't sell in the garage sale last week. Good thing no one else wanted them!

It is a bit of a tight squeeze, but as long as they both have food, they are happy.